Fade
by ComradeRochelle19
Summary: This is what happens when the gang decides not to stage a jail break when Rose gets arrested for apparently killing the queen. Rose goes through with the trial. Includes swearing and mature themes. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


**A/N: This story has been floating in my mind for a while. This is currently a one-shot. But if I get enough reviews telling me I should continue the story, I will. But I need your approval. And seriously, I don't mind criticism. No flaming though, please. A review only takes a few seconds. Its what I write for, come on, give me some love! Memories by Within Temptation and Missing by Evanescence is the music I wrote this too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy. The brilliant Richelle Mead does. Although, I would like to own Dimitri...**

Nothingness.

That's all I saw. All I heard. I had nothing to live for. I was practically ceased to exist. Devoid of any emotions, I didn't allow myself to feel for fear that I would get hurt. And I knew that I would. They stopped coming. Stopped caring. And I was glad they did. They didn't need me. They should have been moving with their lives. Forgetting about me. Rose Hathaway.

Before all of this, I never understood why people committed suicide. I thought they were weak, stupid. After all, I use to have the perfect life. I use to be a party girl. I was exotic, with my long coffee-colored hair and voluptuous body. I had no worries. Then, I was bonded to Lissa subsequently after the car accident that killed her entire family.

I wish she hadn't saved me.

I would have died, like I was supposed to. I wouldn't have ruined all their lives: Adrian, Lissa, Eddie, Mason, Mom, and even him. Dimitri. If I had died that fateful night, I would have never met him, almost two years later. He would have been a badass guardian, regardless. He would have married Tasha and had children with black Ozera hair and the deep brown, soulful eyes he possessed. But I didn't die that night, and here I was. Karma was a bitch. It was pure irony that I was locked up in the very same cell he had been confined in.

The trial was over and done with. I kept replaying the entire fiasco in my head as Abe tried his damndest to prove my innocence.

"Rosemarie Hathaway is one of the best guardians of her age in the world; I think that we can all agree on that. She killed two strigoi before she even graduated," I flashed him a look that I hoped showed irritation. Why was he reminding the jury that I had killed before? Not innocents, obviously, but killing nonetheless. I didn't understand the strategy he was using, but it was Abe. I knew that he had something up his sleeve.

"Miss Hathaway is clearly capable of murder. When the St. Vladimir's Academy was invaded with strigoi, she killed more strigoi than could be counted, which is clearly unheard of for a novice, which she was at the time," Abe gleamed his "I rule the world" smirk at the jury.

"Does this have a point Mr. Mazur?" the judge inquired, clearly annoyed at Abe's unorthodox methods to convince the jury of my innocence.

Abe grinned and gave a nod to the judge, "Paula, Paula. Patience. I'm just getting started." My mobster father continued to tell the jury about my strigoi killing spree in Russia, how I graduated at the top of my class, and all the other badass things I had done.

"Does Miss Hathaway really seem like someone who would kill the queen of the moroi world? Miss Hathaway was extremely loyal to her charge, Princess Dragomir, and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her guardian status." Wait a damn minute. Loyal? He made me seem like I was a freaking golden retriever. "Therefore, the jury should find my client innocent of any wrongdoing. I rest my case," Abe swaggered down the aisle and sat down in his seat next to me.

I knew he had done everything in his power to help me, but I knew it wasn't enough. Those stupid moroi thought I was guilty from the very beginning. I could have the best attorney on the face of the planet represent me but the royals had their minds made up. So I wasn't surprised when I heard the verdict.

"Has the jury come to a decision?" the judge questioned with a grimace on her face.

"We have," replied a woman from the Conta family. "We find Rosemarie Hathaway….." There was a pregnant pause. My heart was pounding. This was it. Either I would be free, or I would die at the hands of the people I was supposed to die _for_, "Guilty of murder of a monarch. Due to the severity of the case, she will be executed," the woman said with a malicious smile.

I heard cheers from the audience behind me. I also heard sobbing, heartbreaking sobbing. It was Lissa. I started blocking her out through the bond after about two weeks of being incarcerated. I just wanted to stay away from Dimitri. Every where she went, he was there. He had pledged his undying loyalty to her after she had saved him. Plus, I was completely confused. He had fought an army of royal guards for me at the café so they wouldn't arrest me. Still, the words he had said to me still reverberated in my head. _Love fades, mine has_.

Because of Dimitri constantly around Lissa, I didn't check in on her through the bond to see how she was doing. Seeing her now was distressing. My arrest had clearly taken a toll on her. I wanted to comfort her and tell her that it would be okay. That she would get over my death. I turned to way to soothe her. Her eyes were blood-shot. Her pale complexion was sallow. She must have not been eating properly because she had lost at least fifteen pounds. She looked completely devastated. The only time I had ever seen her look anything like this was when her parents and Andre died in the car accident.

Next to Lissa was Adrian, with silent tears running down his cheeks. I wanted to apologize to him. I wanted to console him. After I was arrested, I had to break the relationship off. I knew that I loved him, very much so, as a friend. But I wasn't _in_ love with him. I was still in love with Dimitri, which I would be till the day I died, which would be very soon. I chuckled at my sick humor.

I moved on to look at Christian, who had pulled Lissa to him, holding her tightly to his chest. I was glad he taking such good care of her. I knew that when I left her behind, she would be in good hands. Christian, that boy, our personalities were so similar. I think we were brother and sister in another life. We had flaming tempers, no pun intended. We both fought in what we believed in and didn't care what people said about us. I was glad he was in Lissa's life.

In the very back of the courtroom, a tall figure rose to stand. It was Dimitri. He appeared thinner than the last time I had seen him. Even from the back, I could tell he was very guarded. His fists were clenched so hard I thought that they might start bleeding.

He took long strides, almost running to the huge, chestnut colored doors. Right before he left, he turned around to face me. I had to keep my composure. The expression on his face was one I had never seen on him before. He looked like he was going to kill someone. But at the same time, the expression on his face was mournful.

He mouthed an "I'm sorry" before he walked out of the room, slamming it.

He left, and the enormity of the situation set in. I was going to die. Not in battle for the people I loved, but because the moroi world was convicting me of a crime I didn't do. During difficult circumstances, I always used to know what to do. I was a leader; I always had a game plan. But know, there was no way I would be able to get out of this.

I don't remember what happened next. I assume that the guards came to get me and escort me to my cell. My mind just blanked out. Apparently, that's what happens to people when they are told that they are going to die.

I came back to the present in my jail cell, finding myself gazing at the plain pallid walls. If the moroi's intentions were to make me go crazy in here, they had clearly succeeded. My execution was set for three days from today. Only I knew, however, that they wouldn't get the chance to execute me. In all the times I had imagined my death; it was supposed to be an honorable one. Now, I would be remembered as the chick that killed the queen. I had made a decision, one that I knew my friends and family would not understand. If I was going to die, it would be by my own hands. I had to be in control of my own fate.

Before the trial, Abe had given me a backpack full of crap, which the guardians hadn't bothered to check. In it were clean clothes, a blanket, a book, and a stake. I think Abe thought that having the stake with me would make himself feel better because I could protect myself better. Against what? I had no idea. I used stakes to kill strigoi, the evil that slaughtered innocents. I was now using it to kill myself.

It was during the night, so there were fewer guardians watching me, making sure I didn't try to make a daring escape. I t was the perfect time to do it. I took the concealed stake out of the backpack. I laid down on the peace of shit I called my bed and I placed the stake to my wrists. This was it; there was no turning back. I slowly slit my wrists up and down. I took the blood-spattered stake and cut my neck. The pain, I could barely feel it, I was so numb.

I was losing so much blood. I knew that these were my final moments. You know what they say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes? Well, that was what was happening to me. I saw Lissa and I running away from the academy. I witnessed the first time I met Dimitri when the guardians from the academy came to get us. I saw every single moment that I had ever experienced in seconds. But one memory replayed over and over. It was Dimitri and I in the cabin right before the strigoi attack.

"You're so beautiful Roza, so beautiful, it hurts me sometimes," Dimitri whispered to me. "I love you, Roza," he had said.

And though I knew he couldn't hear me, I used all of my remaining strength to say my last words, "I love you too, Comrade."

I smiled, knowing I was leaving this world, forever. Everything became blurry and unclear.

I left my body and passed on to the shadow world as everything faded to darkness.


End file.
